I am angry! For more than two years I have been living under a cloud of oppression and depression. I have fought with debilitating and paralyzing feelings of uselessness, worthlessness, and hopelessness. Daily, I have approached my God with timidity and hesitancy. I am giving notice today ~ NO MORE!
In this morning’s reading, Spurgeon’s words “knock at mercy’s gate” leaped off the page and into my very soul! I began to write, and these are the words that came from my pen:
How passionate am I? Are my requests quietly spoken and timid questions or are they urgent pleadings that knock loudly on Your door, Father? I so long for Your will in all things, and I don’t often know what Your will is. Many times this causes me to approach You with uncertainty instead of confidence. God, I want to approach You BOLDLY (Hebrews 4:16)! I want to see my son come back to You! I want to see my daughter and her family back in a close relationship with You and in a fellowship of believers! I want to see my family healed of CMT! I want to reach others with Your message of grace, mercy, and hope! I want my home filled again with young people who need You, who need to grow in You, and who need a “Mom” while they are away from home! I want to use my time really well! I want to lose the weight that is keeping me dragging physically and stealing my energy! And these are only a few things! Oh, my Father, I’m pounding on Your door! I’m banging with all the energy I possess! Please open the doors! Please let me in and pour out what I long for! Please hear me and respond! Please…I’m storming Your gatese with the cries of my heart! I am angry at the enemy for working to divide us, for working to keep me under his thumb! I’m tired of yielding to the pressure of his constant work to stop me from what I believe You have called me to do! I’m angry with myself for allowing him to succeed so often! Today I claim 2 Timothy 1:7! You have not given me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a spirit of self-discipline! My God, today I choose to give notice to my enemy! Enemy of my soul, you will NOT win in my life! I will NOT stay under this cloud of oppression and depression! I will NOT allow you to keep me ineffective in reaching out to my world with God’s love, truth, grace, and mercy! I will NOT give up on asking and believing and storming Heaven’s gates for miracles to happen in the lives of those I love and serve! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I WILL NOT GIVE IN! I am MORE than a conqueror through Jesus Christ who loves me (Romans 8:37), and I will no longer live in your lies! Father, I choose to live in the truths of You and Your Word! I’m giving notice!I Will Serve the Lord!
I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ, His only Son
And the blessed Holy Spirit, Distinct, yet three in one
I believe there is forgiveness For everything we’ve done
That is why all the more I will serve Him
I believe the Son of God Was crucified upon the tree
And laid within a borrowed tomb Not far from Calvary
I believe He rose up from the dead Alive for all to see
That is why all the more I will serve Him
Chorus:
I have made my decision / We have made our decision
I have staked my claim / We have staked our claim
I have drawn a line in the sand / We have drawn a line in the sand
And I’ll not be ashamed / And we won’t be ashamed
With the world behind me / With the world behind me us
And the cross before By the grace of God
I will serve the Lord / We will serve the Lord
I believe you must be born again, John 3:16 is true
The old life can be washed away, Everything made new
I believe the love of God Can somehow find its way to you
That is why all the more I will serve Him
And I know when Satan and his minions Come to torment me
When I invoke the name of Jesus Every demon has to flee
I know the time will come When Christ returns again someday
Till then there’s just one name on Earth Whereby men can be saved
I believe there is a right and wrong A time to live and die
And the Bible is the blueprint That all men should live by
I believe I’m not alone With my faith in Jesus Christ
That is why all the more We will serve Him
By the grace of God I will serve the Lord
http://youtu.be/TtUWoZANHEo
“By The Grace of GOD, I will serve The LORD.”….beautiful truth that we can cling to. Thank you for sharing, dear friend.
Thank you for reading my post, Connie, and for taking the time to let me know!
Many Blessings ~
Janie \o/ ♪♫