Anyone who spends even a small amount of time around me in a casual, relaxed setting will quickly discern some things about me. For example, my friends know I love to tease and joke with people. Laughter bursts from me like a 4th of July fireworks display. They also know that I am emotion-based; just as laughter flows freely from me, so do tears, sorrow, and frustration. I am also known for my short temper and snipped words. Where laughter can break forth in a sparkling display, anger can erupt like a volcano spewing hot lava onto anyone in its path. Ask my children, youth choir members, and students if they have ever encountered “the look” or “the voice” when crossing my path. I believe I have spent a rather large portion of my life saying, “I’m sorry” or deeply regretting my actions, words, and attitudes.
However, there are certain aspects of myself that are not nearly so visible to those around me. I have a fairly strong personality and am not timid around people. In high school, I performed lead roles in Gilbert and Sullivan operettas. It was there that I was first introduced to acting and performing. Over the years, I have developed my performance ability to include offstage personas. I can appear to be happy while dying inside. I have the ability to look confident and self-assured when I am actually insecure and nervous. No one would believe me if I were to tell them how anxious I actually feel.
Years ago, Twila Paris, a Christian recording artist, wrote and sang a song that describes me fully ~ The Warrior is a Child.¹ The chorus says:
They don’t know That I go runnin’ home When I fall down They don’t know who picks me up When no one is around I drop my sword And cry for just awhile (Look up for a smile) ‘Cause deep inside this armor The warrior is a childYou see, it might seem as though I have it all together. I can look like I have no worries, no concerns; I may give the impression that I am strong. Nevertheless, this life warrior is in truth a child inside who is often small and weak.
So, you ask, what does this have to do with politics, philosophy, and intellect?
Simply this, I am a woman with opinions about many things; some even call me opinionated, and on some things I most certainly am. On the other hand, in the last few weeks, I have come to understand this about myself: I am not political; I am not philosophical; I am not intellectual. If you try to engage me in a political, philosophical, or intellectual discussion, I will quickly become a silent listener instead of an active debater. Oh, don’t misunderstand me ~ I read and listen. I have opinions and views. However, I cannot easily debate my opinions and views. Some of that is because as I read and listen, I form my opinions and views but later cannot remember the arguments that caused me to form those beliefs. (I’m sure that’s a sign of my “mature” age!) When challenged, I can only recite bits and pieces of what I remember, and that is certainly not enough to enable me to debate with someone.
A stronger reason why I cannot debate political issues, the many philosophies of man, and scientific knowledge is due to the fact that although I am an emotion-based being, I am even more fervently a faith-based person. Because I have serious doubts about both candidates for President of the United States, I pray for wisdom and discernment in voting. Because I am not an eloquent debater of my faith in God and the Bible like William Lane Craig, I pray for God to give me answers when someone questions my belief in Him. Because I am not be able to set to music the myriad of thoughts and feelings about my faith that inundate my mind daily like Wes Tuttle who wrote the song Statement of Faith,² (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UBLlXytOtU – Legacy Five) I simply choose to sing God’s music with all that is within me anywhere, anytime, and to anyone who will listen. I will even break forth in spontaneous singing no matter where I may be or who may be around me!
I am weak in politics, philosophy, and intellect.
However, even at my weakest spiritually, I am strong in my faith in God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the Bible.
“I’m not political; I’m not philosophical; I’m not intellectual! I’m not; I’m not; I’m not!!! Here’s what I am: I’m totally in love with You [God]; I’m totally committed to You! … YOU ARE MY ALL!” (Excerpt: Prayer Journal – August 28, 2012)
¹ The Warrior Is A Child. Twila Paris. © 1984 New Spring (Admin. by Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc.)
²Statement of Faith. Wes Tuttle. © 1996 Statement of Faith Music (Admin. by Statement of Faith Music)
This needs to be published. You write beautifully!
Thanks, Cuz! I appreciate your reading it and your encouraging words! I’m working on this new thing in my life. Thankful I’ve managed to post on the blog every Sunday for 6 weeks! \o/ If it helps no one else, it’s helping me! =)
It’s true! She’s got “the Janie look” for in public and a stern voice to rival any other for at home! BUT…she’s got the bestest kissin’ cheeks and back scratchin’ nails this side of the Mississippi! I love you, Mama, no matter what and there’s nothing you can ever do about it! 😉
I love you, too, my precious daughter!