“I’m aging! Life around me is rapidly changing! Where do I fit? Where do I belong? Even if I do fit to some extent or belong in some ways, this is not where I’ve always felt most comfortable. I feel out of place, terribly old, and so outdated!”
I was facing a serious identity crisis!
It seemed as though I’d been revisiting the events of this story line more and more frequently. I wasn’t ready to retire from ministry ~ to be placed on a shelf. I believed God wasn’t finished with me yet, but I couldn’t discern if He was changing my part in His body or completely removing me from a place I’d always filled. I felt lost! Unneeded! Useless!
Difficult questions and situations coupled with intense emotions! Add to them equally strong concerns in other areas of my life, and I had the makings of a perfect storm that could cause me to make choices I wasn’t meant to make.
In the middle of all this, one morning God took me to Isaiah 43:19. “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV)
Later that morning, I attended our church’s Women’s Fellowship event on Repurposing. What I had read in the morning was reinforced in the sharing time from God’s Word and in the viewing of ordinary items that had been beautifully repurposed. The next morning, I pondered over what I had seen ~ items more beautiful and of more value than they once had been. They had become useful in new ways. However, the “bones” of these items had not changed. Their basic elements remained the same! Also, their “patina” had not been completely removed. In fact, they were of more value when portions of their luster and sheen had been preserved!
God’s Spirit quietly spoke to my spirit. He was not removing the “bones” that had made up my life work for Him. He wasn’t removing the things that had always been a part of my identity. Instead, my life was being repurposed into other uses while my “bones” remained the same and the luster and sheen of His life in me enhanced.
For Christmas one year, my daughter and son-in-law each “re-purposed” 18″ x 24″ picture frames to give to me as gifts. One became a glass-covered blank calendar, and the other became a message center using chalkboard paint. These gifts have become a wonderful centerpiece in my piano studio. My students’ eyes often seek out what is written there. Both gifts are very unique and useful, as well as beautiful, and treasured because of the two people who fashioned them out of their love for me.
God has now opened my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my mind to understand, and my heart to receive His “re-purposes” for my life. I can take joy in each change He makes because He is the Master of re-purposing! Will it always be easy? No! The older I get, the more difficult change becomes. However, He loves me and has promised He will never leave me alone. I can trust His heart for me.
If you are in a time of uncertainty as to your place in life, I encourage you to choose to yield to God’s loving hands as they re-purpose your life into a unique and continually useful part of His life on earth. In His skillful hands, your life will become more beautiful, unique, and treasured. You can trust His heart for you
Song of the Day
Trust In You
Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wondering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty warrior King of the fight
No matter what I face You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust I will trust
I will trust in You
Truth is You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less
You are my strength and comfort
You are my steady hand
You are my firm foundation
The Rock on which I stand
Your ways are always higher
Your plans are always good
There’s not a place where I’ll go
You’ve not already stood
Lauren Ashley Daigle | Michael Farren | Paul Mabury
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